Life... I don't even know where to start... I guess the beginning is as good of a place as any...
So... to start off- my grandad is really sick. He has cancer. For the past 2 weeks we haven't know ANYTHING. None of the freaking doctors can figure out anything, and it seems like he just continues to get worse. I saw him this weekend, and my heart literally broke into a million pieces seeing him like that. I can't believe that the strongest man in my life is laying there.. helpless, and seemingly hopeless. For the past 2 weeks my heart has been breaking each day as I think of him just lying there. I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like if he died. That man has been my lifeline for 19 years. I can't deal with it if he were to pass. Man....
On top of all of that my boyfriend and I broke up. I seriously thought I was in love with him, and I thought we were going to get married and live a happy life together. Boy was I wrong about that one. I know I did the right thing by breaking up with him, but tonight as I was looking around my dorm room and taking down all of the pictures of the 2 of us... my heart broke again. I seriously just lost the one guy that has ever TRULY loved me. But... I did what I had to do for myself... which is what everyone keeps saying was the right thing to do... but then why do I feel so crappy and so alone?
And then there is the whole school thing. It's so fun, yet so much work. I just don't know what to do about everything. I am getting way too upset over the stupidest things, yet to me they aren't stupid... idk... I just need a great big hug!!!!!!!!!! Maybe that would help!
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Update
Well, it's been a while since I've been on here. Man... SO much has happened!
Let's see, where to start off---
Well, first semester of college ended, and I went home with a good feeling of accomplishment!!! I really enjoyed being home. The first night I went home I got to go to a Casting Crowns concert with a bunch of my FAVORITE people EVER! I loved it! My friend Cassandra from school came with me too. That was amazing!
Then I got a job for a week! I was super excited. Didn't have to just be sitting at home the whole break having nothing to do. Made a little bit of money! However, during that week my best friend was admitted into the psychiatric ward at Baptist Hospitol. That was the hardest thing ever for me to have to go through. Seeing her being admited.. well... that reminded me of where I was just a year ago. I almost was in her shoes... but THANK GOD and thanks to many other people I was able to get over my depression!
Then... AUNT CINDI came home!!!!! I was so excited to see her! It had been practically since March since I had seen her... and I WAS SO HAPPY! I spent as much time as possible with her! My grandad had a concert the Monday night before Christmas, and I sang in it... along with the rest of the family! I had never heard my aunt Cindi sing before. She did AMAZING! Oh- and my boyfriend came in to hear us. He stayed until Christmas Eve. That was fun! I love Christmas all together... but having him there was just amazing! It was so special. My aunt finally got to meet him too. And well, she loved him. As we all do!
Christmas ended, and Aunt Cindi had to go home. :( Sad day. But not before she and I got to spend a WHOLE day together! Just us! That was great! We got to talk about stuff just the two of us!
Up next was my birthday. But sadly... I had to come back to school on my birthday. That was ok though. I enjoyed spending it with my friends.
Now school is back in swing. I love it!!!! I have a new roommate! It's great! And my grades are SO much better now! I am so happy...
Well, I'm off here. Gotta get some rest. Feeling a bit under the weather.
Love to all.
Let's see, where to start off---
Well, first semester of college ended, and I went home with a good feeling of accomplishment!!! I really enjoyed being home. The first night I went home I got to go to a Casting Crowns concert with a bunch of my FAVORITE people EVER! I loved it! My friend Cassandra from school came with me too. That was amazing!
Then I got a job for a week! I was super excited. Didn't have to just be sitting at home the whole break having nothing to do. Made a little bit of money! However, during that week my best friend was admitted into the psychiatric ward at Baptist Hospitol. That was the hardest thing ever for me to have to go through. Seeing her being admited.. well... that reminded me of where I was just a year ago. I almost was in her shoes... but THANK GOD and thanks to many other people I was able to get over my depression!
Then... AUNT CINDI came home!!!!! I was so excited to see her! It had been practically since March since I had seen her... and I WAS SO HAPPY! I spent as much time as possible with her! My grandad had a concert the Monday night before Christmas, and I sang in it... along with the rest of the family! I had never heard my aunt Cindi sing before. She did AMAZING! Oh- and my boyfriend came in to hear us. He stayed until Christmas Eve. That was fun! I love Christmas all together... but having him there was just amazing! It was so special. My aunt finally got to meet him too. And well, she loved him. As we all do!
Christmas ended, and Aunt Cindi had to go home. :( Sad day. But not before she and I got to spend a WHOLE day together! Just us! That was great! We got to talk about stuff just the two of us!
Up next was my birthday. But sadly... I had to come back to school on my birthday. That was ok though. I enjoyed spending it with my friends.
Now school is back in swing. I love it!!!! I have a new roommate! It's great! And my grades are SO much better now! I am so happy...
Well, I'm off here. Gotta get some rest. Feeling a bit under the weather.
Love to all.
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